A lot is going on with women regarding jobs, especially after becoming mothers, especially the working mom guilt. Excelling in your career is becoming the utmost need of modern women. However, reaching top positions is never easy for women. Do you know that in developing countries like India, women on average earn 65.5% of their male colleagues? Taking these stats on international levels, less than 46.9% of women constituted the global workforce in 2020.
Becoming a strong mother is not easy, especially when you’ve newly become a mother. Being a mother is a sense of responsibility, and working women often start feeling the guilt of not giving proper time to their kids amidst the work and other schedules. Let us help you know all about this working mom guilt and how to overcome this feeling in quick but effective practical tips.
What Is The “Working Mom Guilt”?
The famous author and journalist Amy Westervelt has stated in her book “Forget Having It All” that “we expect women to work like they don’t have children and expect them to raise children as if they don’t have work.” Before jumping to what is working mom guilt, it is essential to understand what it is all about?
The collective name is given to the guilt feelings of the women that come to working mothers owing to their experiences with kids. It is common in new mothers that are trying hard to strike the right balance between the work and the newborn’s attention. The constant feeling of being worried about making mistakes and trying to get everything right is due to the imagination of the mothers to become a perfect working mother for kids.
According to Ariane Hegewisch, the co-author of the Institute of Women’s Policy Research Report, the role of the mother remains to work for pay and fulfill all her responsibilities also, while that of a father is to “bring the bacon” only. It is evident that the working mom’s guilt and the whole confusing feeling may or may not be impacted.
How to Overcome Working Mom Guilt – 9 Practical Tips?
With all that being said, let us help the struggling mothers overcome the dreadful feeling of working mom guilt. The quick, effective, and practical ways to overcome this guilt confidently.
1. Awareness of working benefits
The mothers need to know about the benefits of working beyond monetary gains only. The working mothers having elder children can make their kids aware of these benefits and may even seek help in dealing with the working mom’s guilt. It is all about letting yourself, and your kids know about standing strong in the profession, earning, motivation, etc.
2. Accept the trade-off situations
Trade-offs are a part of modern busy lives, and working mothers are no exception. It is easy to strike these trade-offs by prioritizing things on a short-term and long-term basis. Try to strike the right trade-off by shifting a non-important meeting to another time instead of your kids’ parent-teacher meeting, etc.
3. Stay focused for quality
One of the most influential and practical ways to overcome the situations of working mom guilt is all about keeping your focus on quality. Working mothers need to understand that thinking about kids while at work and working while with kids will hamper their mental health. Hence, quality work and quality time with kids are important, respectively.
4. Create some family time only
The working women may be busy at work on specific days of the year. Hence, it is easy for them to compensate for this time by creating family time only when work pressure is at the minimum level. Hence, if you feel that “I hate being a working mom”, all you need to do is create some family time and get rid of this feeling.
5. Power of self-motivation and self-introspection
While mothers are already coping with the working mom’s guilt, there is no match between self-motivation and self-introspection. It is ok for the busy working mothers to spare some time for themselves and have a clear introspection that if they’re on the right track for work or not. Further, keeping yourself motivated throughout the journey will make them feel good and confident.
6. Being fully present
A peaceful and mindful observation is what it takes for the working mothers to be fully present at work or home. While it is impeccable for the newly become mothers to stay inclined to their kids, this feeling should never take a toll on their work. It can be practiced easily by training your mind to be present in the current situation and forget worrying about tomorrow.
7. Enforcing strong boundaries
Many mothers reportedly face mom guilt for yelling at kids for their simplest mistakes. While it is bad for the kids, it is easy for the working mothers to enforce strong boundaries that refrain them from such behavior. These boundaries are for the good of the working women, their mental health, their working benefits, etc. It can be started by dedicating the time for kids and work according to the schedule, abiding by these guidelines, etc.
8. Physical & mental stress
Taking full care of them can be mentally draining for the mothers to deal with the working mom’s guilt. Before this feeling starts taking a toll on the physical and mental health of the mothers, they need to start taking full care. It includes meditation, yoga, physical exercises, a healthy diet, etc., that aims to keep the hard-working mothers mentally and physically fit.
9. Let this feeling go
The mom guilt psychology is all about getting rid of the feeling that you’re wrong even when nobody else is talking about it. Working women often let this feeling go in no time and get full control of their lives. There is no need to worry about the work and kids when you know that it is just a feeling and you’re justifying your job and kids. All you need is some concentration and positivity to bring peace to your life.
Wrapping Up
All working mothers need to understand that it is ok to feel the working mom’s guilt as it is linked to empathy. If you’re feeling guilty, that means that you’re having care, love, and compassion for your kids. Getting rid of this guilt doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids or have to compromise at your work. It is all about progressing to a more peaceful and satisfying future for your kids and yourselves.
Do you know that women with young children are likely to work less when compared to women with grown-ups? There is no need to feel stuck in situations that affect your mental health when the working mother can let this guilt go, make themselves aware of the benefits of working, take care of themselves, accept the generalized trade-offs, use-values, focus on quality, etc.
It is crucial to stay present in the current situation, stop creating blocks for the family or work, enforce strong boundaries, and keep track of your schedule. Don’t give your career ambitions ahead of the working mom guilt depression, primarily when you know it can be handled with awareness, care, and self-compassion.
FAQs
The working mom guilt is a feeling that many global women face when they start thinking that their work is taking a toll on the attention to the kids. It results in job dissatisfaction, issues in managing kids, feeling afraid of their health, etc.
The newly become mothers face this issue for obvious reasons as they’re new to this world of striking work-life balance with mother and new kids.
While the guilt of being dissatisfied is common, working mothers may start feeling it regularly. It is easy for working mothers to go through the practical solutions to this guilt and normalize their lives.
When working mothers cannot handle their situations confidently, they need to seek medical help to decrease their stress and anxiety levels.
Whether a mother wants to become a working mother or a stay-at-home mother is a complete matter of choice and personal situation.
Newly become mothers prefer to be stay-at-home mothers after taking an extended maternity break. These benefits are staying connected to the baby and taking complete care of themselves during the post partum period. The benefits of a working mother include staying in line with your career growth, aiming to strike a balance between work and motherhood, and monetary benefits also.
Hence, working mothers and stay-at-home mothers have their specific advantages; it is easy for the ladies to go for one according to their wish.