A Rundown On What Husbands Should Not Do During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a thrilling voyage for both parents as they excitedly await the arrival of their child. Successfully navigating the unfamiliar territory of pregnancy takes more than just love and support. Husbands have a vital role in pregnancy. Their part is multifaceted, requiring empathy, understanding, and active participation.

On the other hand, it is of equal importance for husbands to be aware of the things that should be avoided. By being aware of certain things to avoid, husbands can help their pregnant spouses feel comfortable and supported during this life-changing time.

This blog explains what husbands should not do during pregnancy. Now it is the husband’s turn to read this blog and learn more about how emotional intelligence, shared duties, good communication, and constant support can help the pregnancy go well.

Why Do Couples Fight During Pregnancy?

Pregnancy is a challenging period for any woman. Also, it can be a tough time for a marriage. During pregnancy, it’s not unusual for couples to argue occasionally. It will not always be the pregnant woman’s mood swings that cause this. Men must take an active interest in what their pregnant wife is going through.

Men exhibiting signs of an unsupportive husband during pregnancy is one of the basic reasons couples fight during pregnancy. 

Following are the top reasons why couples fight during pregnancy:

1. Conflicting views regarding saving and spending

Many women find that their relationships with husbands during pregnancy become more stressful due to financial issues.  Arguments and fights might arise when spouses have different financial priorities, opinions, or existing debt¹.

• Pregnancy, delivery, and childcare are expensive. 
• Pregnancy medical bills might put a strain on the couple’s finances. 
• Most of the time, none of the couples have a clear understanding of the extent to which their expenses will increase after the delivery. 

All these could bring about a conflicting view regarding saving and spending.

Related Reading: 15 Red Flags: Signs You’re Not Prepared For A Baby

2. Issues brought up by in-laws

The interference of in-laws, particularly in Indian cultural contexts, can indeed become a significant source of tension and conflict during pregnancy.

• While they prepare to welcome their new grandchild into the world, in-laws may have specific expectations regarding their part in the process. In most cases, the husband and wife will not reach a mutual agreement on this. This could create conflict. 
• Parenting styles can sometimes lead to disagreements when in-laws get involved. They may have differing opinions on matters like pregnancy care, birthing options, and postpartum practices. As they sort through all the advice they’ve gotten, it might put a strain on their relationship.
• Unsolicited opinions and advice from in-laws can be a common source of conflict. If in-laws impose their views on issues such as dietary choices, medical decisions, or parenting philosophies, it may lead to frustration and disagreement within the couple.

3. Disagreement regarding sex during pregnancy

Sexual difficulties during pregnancy can be a sensitive and challenging topic that has the potential to cause disagreements between partners². A lot of emotional and physical factors can change how one feels sexually in a relationship at this time. The following circumstances may cause pregnancy-related sex disputes:

• Pregnant women may feel pain or discomfort during sexual activity due to bodily changes. This pain may lead to aversion or unwillingness to have sex, which may cause partners to get frustrated and maybe argue.
• Pregnancy hormones alter libido and sexual desire. Pregnant women can experience increased or decreased libido. Mismatched libido levels can cause rejection, misunderstanding, and pressure, causing problems.
• Women who are pregnant may avoid or feel anxious about having sex because they don’t want to hurt the baby or because they don’t think it’s safe. If sexual activity drops suddenly, partners may feel abandoned or rejected. Without open communication, these issues can cause misunderstandings and emotional drift between partners. 

4. Disagreement in naming the baby

Choosing a name for a baby is a big decision for soon-to-be parents and can sometimes lead to disagreements and conflicts during pregnancy. When it comes to naming a child, there are many factors to consider.

Cultural influences, personal preferences, and family traditions all play a role in this important decision. Couples may become entangled in arguments over baby names for the following reasons:

• When couples have different cultural naming traditions, disagreements may emerge about which one to use.
• Conflicts can arise when extended family members get involved in suggesting or advocating for specific names.
• Differing tastes in names or strong emotional connections to specific names can lead to conflicts if partners struggle to find common ground.
• Couples may occasionally disagree when one partner leans more heavily on current naming trends and the other favors a more traditional choice.

Related Reading: 13 Common Pregnancy Myths Busted

10 Things Husbands Should Not Do During Pregnancy 

Pregnant women rely on their spouses for emotional and practical assistance during the miraculous process of becoming a parent. The Role of the husband in a pregnancy journey is incredible.  It’s not always the right thing for them to do.

Sometimes it has to do with things they shouldn’t do.  There are specific behaviors that, if avoided, can enhance the overall experience for both partners. Now we can talk about the most important things that pregnant women’s husbands should not do to make sure their partners have a safe and healthy atmosphere.

Here is a list of things husbands should refrain from doing during pregnancy:

1. Never neglect emotional support:

Aditi was in desperate need of emotional support as a result of hormonal changes and the difficulties of pregnancy. Arnav, despite his best intentions to be a supportive husband during Aditi’s pregnancy, became deeply absorbed in his work responsibilities. No wonder Aditi felt a sense of isolation and neglect due to Arnav’s unintentional actions.

Husbands must be attentive to their partner’s emotional needs during this delicate period. When husband is not emotionally supportive during pregnancy, it could be the number one reason to hate your husband during pregnancy

• It can be challenging for husbands to offer emotional support when they are dealing with their work stress.
• Another reason why people may refrain from providing emotional support during pregnancy is due to a lack of understanding about the emotional challenges involved. 

2. “You’ve gained a lot of weight.” -An inaccurate remark to make to a wife during pregnancy:

This is one of the top things husbands should never say to a pregnant woman. Pregnant women often experience weight gain. She is carrying a precious life within her. Additionally, there is an increase in the volume of blood and amniotic fluid to provide the necessary support. A woman’s body needs more nutrients during pregnancy, and she may have cravings for certain foods. All these contribute to weight gain. Prioritizing the mother’s and the baby’s health is more vital than concentrating only on the physical changes.

• Pregnant women may experience unneeded stress and body image issues as a result of negative comments about their weight. 
• Bringing up her weight gain can contribute to her anxiety and self-esteem issues.
• Criticizing her food choices can create unnecessary stress and guilt as well.

Related Reading: 12 Tips To Maintain Weight During Pregnancy

3. Not helping with housework — A big mistake

Husbands must refrain from neglecting their responsibilities regarding household chores while their partner is pregnant. It is especially important in situations where there is no domestic help and both partners are employed. Husbands usually refrain from helping the pregnant wife with housework because:

• Fail to understand the physical and emotional toll that pregnancy can have on a mother.
• Some husbands may be facing increased work pressures or time constraints, which can affect their ability to contribute to household chores.
• Societal norms and traditional gender roles can play a significant role in a husband not contributing to household chores. They will not believe that they are also responsible for household chores if they were raised in a tradition that assigns certain tasks to one gender.
• During pregnancy, husbands may experience stress, worries, and anxiety too. This might be connected to finances, health, or imminent parenthood. These stresses may hinder their domestic responsibilities.
• Lack of proper communication is another reason. It is possible for husbands to not know how their partners are feeling or not know how to help them.

4. Never forget hospital appointments 

Forgetting hospital appointments during pregnancy can be not only frustrating but may also have potential consequences.

• One common reason husbands forget hospital appointments is that they are too busy with work.
• If both partners are not on the same page regarding schedules and plans, it increases the likelihood of missing appointments.

Related Reading: What A Pregnant Woman Wants From Her Husband – 18 Simple Things

5. Do not push for intimacy

Raj noticed that Geetha and he were becoming more emotionally distant as her pregnancy progressed. Raj would occasionally press Geetha for closeness to maintain their relationship. Raj failed to achieve the intended intimacy with Geetha and instead made her already difficult condition worse.

The physical pain and emotional shifts she was experiencing seemed to escape his notice. Husbands should be mindful of their pregnant partner’s emotional and physical boundaries and respect them.

Your wife might feel physically and emotionally uncomfortable throughout her pregnancy. It’s important to respect her boundaries and not force her to do anything uncomfortable.

• There may be emotional highs and lows during pregnancy. For emotional support and connection, some husbands seek intimacy with their pregnant partner.
• Husbands sometimes use physical intimacy to strengthen their emotional bond with their pregnant wives.

6. Avoid stating statements such as “I am not sure I am ready for fatherhood.”

It is not a good idea to approach the talk with a negative attitude, even if uncertainties and anxieties about becoming a parent are common.

• Expressing uncertainties about being prepared for fatherhood can create feelings of unease and uncertainty for the expectant mother.
• The expectant partner could feel abandoned or wonder whether the relationship will last.
• If the husband constantly shows doubt, it could make the pregnant partner less sure that he can be a good father.
• During pregnancy, establishing a relationship is essential to the father’s emotional readiness for fatherhood. The father’s worries could get in the way of bonding with the baby in the future.

Related Reading: Top 12 Qualities Of A Good Husband And Father

7. Don’t make any major changes without discussing it with pregnant wife

Before making any substantial changes, it is crucial to engage in a thorough discussion. When expecting a baby, couples must make significant decisions together.  It is important to maintain open lines of communication regarding any upcoming lifestyle changes, financial decisions, or living arrangements. 

• Stability and regularity provide security amid physical and hormonal changes for pregnant women. Sudden, big changes without discussion may destabilize stability and increase stress.
• It’s crucial to involve the pregnant wife in major decisions, as they may impact her directly or indirectly during pregnancy and beyond.

8. Avoid discussing fears and concerns

It’s normal to be worried and frightened during pregnancy, but it’s not a good idea to share your concerns and anxieties with your wife. Never bring up your worries about the future with your pregnant wife, either. If you don’t have a suitable plan of action or know how to handle the problem, try to avoid talking about it.

• Discussing fears and concerns in front of a pregnant wife may negatively impact her emotional well-being.
• Stress during pregnancy has been linked to adverse health outcomes for both the mother and the baby as per this source
• Constantly discussing fears can create a negative environment, hindering the couple’s ability to focus on the positive aspects of the pregnancy journey.

Related Reading: 18 Safe Yet Fun Things To Do When Pregnant

9. Avoid smoking in the presence of your pregnant wife

Smoking in the presence of a pregnant wife is strongly discouraged due to the potential risks and adverse effects on both the mother and the unborn child.

Pregnant women exposed to secondhand smoke are at an increased risk of complications, including preterm birth, low birth weight, and developmental issues for the baby³.

• More often, the husband may not be fully aware of the potential risks associated with smoking during pregnancy or may underestimate the harmful effects of secondhand smoke on the developing fetus.
• Nicotine is highly addictive, and individuals who are addicted to smoking may find it challenging to quit, even in the presence of a pregnant partner.
• Smoking around a pregnant woman may exacerbate stress and anxiety, which makes it more difficult to build a loving and supportive atmosphere.

10. Never compare her to another woman

Every pregnancy is unique, so avoid comparing her experience to others. You should not expect your pregnant wife to be as active as your friend’s. Expecting her to do everything as usual is a lot to ask. Recognize that she may need to rest more and limit her activities while pregnant.

• Factors such as health, genetics, and personal circumstances influence each pregnancy.
• Making comparisons can lead to unnecessary stress, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy.

Conclusion

Couples need to talk to each other honestly, try to understand each other, and work together to get through the challenges of pregnancy with support and care. One of the best ways to keep the peace in your relationship as it goes through this transition is to refrain from doing certain things.

moodHusbands need to be mindful of their words, attentive to their partner’s needs, and avoid making comparisons to other pregnant women. A helpful and understanding atmosphere can be created by encouraging open conversation, being actively involved in the pregnancy journey, and expressing love and care.