Having a desire for or planning a second baby puts a couple into a lot of thought and could be a tough decision. Your first child could have brought in a lot of changes and happiness to your life. On the other hand, the way you see pregnancy after your first child could be very different. While there are many good reasons to have a second child, many women are still skeptical about it. Basically, how a second or perhaps a third or even a fourth child will affect your life cannot be ascertained at all.
While some couples strongly feel a child needs a sibling, some parents are very happy and content with a single child. Let us see why your child needs a sibling and the good reasons to have a second child.
And while there is no single shoe that would fit all, in this post we will try to help you in making this decision by listing some important factors you should consider.
Many factors are in favor of having a second baby. There are also a lot of families who have more than two kids. Even today, we hear a lot of couples still wanting to have one boy and one girl. On the other hand, some families are still happy and content with a single child.
Once you become a parent, everything changes. Especially after your first child, your sleep patterns, your family and friends time, your favorite show everything vanishes in the air. Just when you are about to figure out or rather get used to the routine of your first child — you might be thinking “will I regret not having a second child”. That’s when you might plan for the second one.
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Having a second child depends on many factors such as when to stop taking birth control, how financially stable the family is, and how the elder child would adapt to the new family member. For moms thinking — should I have a second child, the decision on the second child is even tougher than deciding whether or not to have a baby.
Listed below are good reasons to have a second child and why it is important to have a second child.
1. Siblings will always have each other– even when you are not
Many parents worry about the future of their children after their demise. One of the good reasons to have a second child is that both the children will have lifelong company and will be there for each other. So, your worry about who they can depend on in the future will subside.
There are a lot of siblings who depend on each. other through thick and thin and are each other’s solid support system.
Becoming pregnant for the first time could be challenging without knowing how to handle the pregnancy challenges. While for the second pregnancy, it is not going to be such a great ordeal as you are aware of the entire routine and the necessary checkups. You are not worried as much because you know a lot of it. You can even go to the same gynaecologist.
The stress and the trauma experienced during the second pregnancy are comparatively less than the first. Also, the labor time is usually quick for the second delivery. If you had a C-section for the first, then the probability of having it again for the second child is high. Moreover, parents tend to be more relaxed because they know what to expect.
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When you have a second child, the spending for the baby is usually less. As parents, we always spend on anything that makes our child happy. This could be from petty things to the most expensive ones too. If you are too worried about those expensive toys and dresses of your first child lying out there, by having a second baby you can get it recycled which is one of the good reasons to have a second child.
5. They entertain each other and this is one of the good reasons to have a second child
When there are two or more children in a family, they play and keep playing all while, entertaining each other. This means the dependency on you is less. When it is a single child, you become their play partner and keep entertaining them for long hours. While it could be engaging for them, how about you?
Have you seen scenarios where mom and dad are just not enough to console a crying child, but their sibling does the magic? Kids sometimes seek special attention and their sibling or their crime partner knows how to handle it better. Don’t you think it’s one of the cutest and good reasons to have a second child?
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Your firstborn becomes super excited and gets prepared for the arrival of a new member into the family. This means he/she is ready to welcome the new sibling and lend a helping hand to the little one. As they grow up, they would support each other — right from studies to their life decisions. In this way, both develop the habit of learning many things in life.
When there is a single child, the pamper and the love is more without any division. With two kids, there will be both love and rivalry. Your two kids will encounter all sorts of issues and will amicably find solutions between themselves. It helps them improve their communication and problem-solving techniques.
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One good reason to have a second child is that you are already in baby mode and there is nothing new for you to get prepared for. You know how to change diapers within a minute, your doors and walls are all baby-proofed, and you know how to manage those sleepless nights. Hence having a child at this point might not bring much difference to your lifestyle.
With the first child, every parent takes the utmost care in doing everything right. From the diaper to the food offered, you ensure everything is perfect. With the second child around, you will only find ways of doing important things conveniently rather than doing things perfectly. One of the convincing good reasons to have a second child, right?
Bedtime with your first one would have been trial and error looking for that perfect atmosphere and the right sleep schedule. You would have probably tried everything right from those lush blankets to expensive rock chairs. But with this experience, you would let the second one sleep for long hours wherever they are asleep.
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While these are all reasons to have a child once again, the most important factors to consider remain to be listed –
1. YOU and YOUR FEELINGS
A pregnancy is overwhelming. It could mean weight gain, all the sleepless nights, those nauseating days, aches, pains, and much more. If you are older, it may not be as easy to get pregnant as it was the first time. There might be complications which were not these the first time. Listen to your gut if you are ready to go through it all again.
Ofcourse, at the end of it all, you will have a little baby to cuddle with, those baby smells are the reward, that feeling of being needed is the prize. And your first child will always be grateful.
2. Your PARTNER’s FEELINGS
Having a baby is joint effort- it won’t work out well if your partner isn’t ready for it. Talk to your partner if he is feeling the same or not- you both need to be in the same place to have another child. Do not force, blackmail or try to make your partner guilty if he does not want a second child. Give him time, talk open-heartedly and assure him that he is an equal decision maker in this.
Again, this should be on the top of your list when you are thinking of having a second baby. There is no denying the fact that babies are expensive- while you may recycle toys and clothes, as your baby gets older, you will need funds for education and the like. Diapers, medicines, baby gears etc. can cost a lot- and you already know that. Costs can multiply very quickly, with your older baby and this new little bundle. Take into consideration your short-term and long-term financial goals, your savings and other earnings and make a wise choice. Sometimes, waiting an year or two can be a great option.
Another factor you should consider is how manageable would raising a second baby be. You will need another room, some more furniture, an extra high chair on your kitchen counter and possibly, another car seat. Perhaps you have just started taking a vacation or two in your small car now that your first born is older. That may change completely and your small car may no fi in 2 car seats. So give this a good though too.
Having another baby can be a great, happy and satisfying experience. But, considering these factors will ensure you do not get shocked when the pregnancy is confirmed.
There is no hard and fast rule in deciding the perfect time for a second child. It all depends on your body, your existing health conditions, and your family’s financial strength. But there are a few reasons for you to consider before planning the second child.
A small gap (under two years)
Your children are likely to play together and enjoy their childhood days. Also, the activities and the TV shows they watch are mostly of a similar age group. When the gap is less, the creativity of the children is more.
There could be a risk of a preterm baby and the chances of labor complications are high. It could also be exhausting for you to look after a toddler while pregnant.
Moderate gap (two to four years)
The risk of a preterm baby is low. This is the perfect home as the body revives and gets back to normal. You will have more knowledge of raising a baby.
The age gap between the kids could be high for playing together.
Longer gap (over four years)
Your elder child would probably be at school and hence you can get to spend more time with the newborn. Also, this is an age where the elder child could be of little help to you.
With huge gaps, the bonding between the two children might not be so close, until they grow older. You also have to keep training your elder one to be prepared for the new member and change in lifestyle.
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The ideal age gap between two children must be at least 24 months for your body to fully recover. However, the age gap of the siblings can vary from a year to about 5 years or more whose pros and cons are discussed above.
Many parents think about having a second child when their firstborn is growing up. Almost all parents want to have a second child, either to make the family complete or think about the future of the elder one. However, when you have a second child, things are completely different.
Having said so, it all depends on how you think of having your second baby and what your family could change into upon the arrival of the second one.
Life becomes used to a routine when you have a single child where you can also enjoy a part of the lifestyle before the baby. Though the initial days after the first child was born would have been tough to manage, you would have dived into the routine.
However, with any difficulties that you go through after your second delivery, you will surely see the beauty of having another baby in the upcoming days — especially when you will sit back and enjoy that cute sibling conversation.