Coping with the bundle of changes that accompanies the news of pregnancy brings in a lot of stress and strain. Having an unsupportive partner during pregnancy just makes everything difficult to bear. Everything that is supposed to be happy and beautiful in your pregnancy journey just turns blue.
True, pregnancy whether planned or unplanned is a journey consisting of many ups and downs. But if you have to go through this rollercoaster ride alone without your partner’s support, it can be tough.
Especially if your husband does not open up to you or does not allow you to express yourself.
Having An Unsupportive Partner During Pregnancy- Possible Reasons
You definitely expect your partner to be joyous with the news of your pregnancy. Perhaps you have been anticipating the same and watching carefully for early signs of pregnancy. You expect him to be as elated you you are.
But what if he does not really feel happy? What if he starts acting all weird and unsupportive during this phase of your relationship? This can be very disheartening for the mother-to-be when she is left all alone with an insensitive partner during pregnancy.
Your otherwise loving partner might turn into a selfish husband during pregnancy because of many reasons.
Perhaps he is not yet ready to take up responsibility of a child. He might have experienced a bad childhood. Or he must not be okay with the idea of sharing you with anyone else yet.
Related Reading: 35 Fun Pregnancy Announcement Ideas For Family
12 Ways To Cope With An Unsupportive Partner During Pregnancy
If you are plagued with the question- how do I deal with an unsupportive partner during pregnancy then let us help you. We would like to put forth 12 ways to cope with an unsupportive partner during pregnancy. You can keep these in mind to actually make your relationship work. These might also help you become independent enough to take care of yourself as well.
1. Keep the communication line wide open
The moment you are pregnant you are bound to be the centre of attention. People around you will focus on your needs and requirements. On the other hand, your husband’s concerns and needs might take a backseat.
For this reason, talking to him and clearly communicating with him will be a good option. Try to understand what your partner is actually going through by speaking about his concerns. Communication might help clear lots of misunderstanding and bring you closer to each other.
2. Make sure you are as assertive as possible
No doubt the changes you are facing will be overwhelming. There might be things that will make you feel better. So be assertive about what you actually need in front of your partner. Do not sulk in your own misery.
Expecting your partner to understand what you need is not going to help.
Express yourself as clearly as possible to avoid fighting with husband during pregnancy. If your partner truly loves you then sooner or later he will respect your needs during your pregnancy.
3. Keep a journal
Sometimes it might happen that your husband shuts you out completely. He does not allow you to talk and does not try to understand you.
Under such circumstances, take the help of a journal. Use the journal to pen down all your miserable feelings.
Writing down will allow you to get a better perspective of the whole situation. It might also open up new avenues to deal with the unsupportive partner during pregnancy that you never thought of.
Related Reading: 11 Reasons You Might Be Losing Weight During Pregnancy
4. Open up to a trusted relative/friend
With the pregnancy changes and the stress of the inconsiderate partner, you might not be able to clearly think and act. Rather than fighting with your husband and making things get ugly, reach out to someone who will lend you an ear.
What you can do in this scenario is approach a trusted relative/friend. You can talk to him/her about everything that is going on and even get a third person’s perspective. This will help you get in control of your emotions and feelings.
5. Try to accommodate meditation into your routine
With pregnancy, finding time for regular things will require careful time-management.
Meditation is perhaps a good practice which can be incorporated into your pregnancy daily routine. Meditation will allow you to pace your day better and start slow.
It will help you get clarity of thoughts and also keep you away from any stress. Along with that, it will have a positive impact on the health of your baby and also your health. The more positive you become, the stronger you will become when dealing with an inconsiderate husband during pregnancy.
6. Request him to accompany you during your doctor’s visit
During the early phase of pregnancy, you might not look pregnant and so your husband might not come to terms with it. He will simply not see it as his responsibility.
As a mother, the baby grows in you and you experience everything first hand. Fathers can often feel left out. Requesting him to accompany you when you are visiting the doctor is an effective move. It will give him the reality check. The ultrasound and the heartbeats of your baby might prompt a change of heart in him.
7. Try to work on yourself
Instead of focusing the energy on your husband, focus on yourself. See how you can become a better version of yourself. Try to take up a new hobby or re-instill interest in an old hobby. Read books, listen to music and spend as much time alone with your baby as possible.
If you make yourself a priority then it is not selfish. It will just help you understand yourself better and also help you tackle your unsupportive partner during pregnancy.
8. Encourage your partner to come to prenatal classes
Whenever you think the time is right, ask your husband to come to prenatal classes. These classes are really helpful and can help parents-to-be to understand their responsibilities. If your words are not reaching him, then maybe a third person’s words might be effective on him.
While attending the classes with you, your husband will realize what he is missing out. He will also get a chance to introspect his behavior towards you.
9. Find a role model for your partner
Another great way to deal with an insensitive husband during pregnancy is to find a role model for your partner. Any male who has been through fatherhood and has been a shining example of a father can help you out.
For instance, your husband’s father or brother and your father or brother- any of them could get in touch with your husband. They can talk to him and give him the opportunity to open up about his concerns.
There is a catch here though- never compare.
10. Always keep an open mind
It might be that your husband is not living up to your expectations. He might be there for you during the pregnancy but not in the manner you want. His ways and behaviours might be different than what you expected.
So keep your mind open and focus on the things that he is trying to do. Look for what he does. Maybe he checks out on you whether you have eaten or not. Perhaps he is working overtime to save some money for the new member coming soon, and that’s why he come home late. Don’t jump to conclusions.
That will help balance out the relationship and allow you to work on your relationship.
11. Make efforts to keep the fire burning in your relationship
One of the reasons your loving partner turns into an unsupportive partner during pregnancy is that he feels romance and love has taken a backseat. So if you feel the same then try to make efforts to keep the fires burning in your relationship.
Perhaps you are always shabbily dressed with a bun for a hairstyle! That would not interest any man. You can dress glamorously in pregnancy too. Having a radiant, glowing skin during pregnancy will also take your partner take interest in you.
You can plan date nights and outings with your hubby. Making love during pregnancy is safe as long as basic precautions are taken care of.
12. Seek the help of a relationship expert/professional
If none of the above ways to cope with an unsupportive partner during pregnancywork for you then think about relationship therapy. The therapy will have a positive impact on your relationship and increase the trust in each other. This will ultimately help both of you become good parents as well.
Is breaking the relationship with an unsupportive husband during pregnancy an option?
It may happen that despite making efforts to deal with a selfish husband during pregnancy things do not work in your favor. Maybe it is time to rethink your relationship. If your partner continues to be inconsiderate and insensitive now, the problem might aggravate later.
But the decision to break the relationship must not be taken hastily. Consider everything wisely and then take the decision for the best of everyone involved including your baby. Those of you who are facing an abusive husband or domestic violence must be more prompt in their decision making. You do not want your child to come into a world of violence and hatred.
Always remember it is your responsibility to provide a healthy environment to your baby. Never be ashamed to take the help of your near and dear ones. Keeping yourself strong and having confidence in oneself is the key.
You are going to give birth to a new life. So you must do all you can to make your relationship healthy again. Breaking off the relationship must be the only last resort. We really hope you can instill love and gratitude into your unsupportive partner during pregnancy. After all you all had promised to be there for one another in good times and bad times. All the love and support to you!