Every parent has a different parenting style. In the permissive parenting style, the parents seem to be more like friends with their kids or rather try to be their child’s friend buddy to have their relationship without hassle. This is usually described as a nurturing and loving kind of parenting style with no rules. There are a lot of debates about the permissive parenting style as many feel it to be too lenient.
Permissive parents typically have a lot of fun together. They grant access to all their child’s desires, failing to set boundaries. These parents try to avoid saying “No” or avoid disciplining them just to maintain their BFF status. On top of all, they step behind and allow their children to make decisions to make their child’s life comfortable.
While being friendly with your child is always thoughtful, how friendly is too friendly? What are permissive parenting’s pros and cons? Let us discuss.
What Is Permissive Parenting Style?
A permissive parenting style is where the parents aren’t demanding with their kids. The kids don’t hold major responsibility in this kind of parenting style. They are allowed to regulate their behavior and make their own choices. The parents are most afraid of setting limits for their children and believe in the concept that the child needs to grow by their nature.
The permissive parenting effects are much on the growing child. In this kind of parenting, permissive parents use gifting and bribery as the major parenting tools rather than setting boundaries and expectations. These parents avoid asserting authority and also hesitate to say “No” to the very few demands of their child.
A few permissive parenting characteristics are:
- Being nurturing and warm and hesitant to set limits
- Reject the idea of keeping kids under control
- They are emotionally supportive and responsive to the child’s needs
- Permissive parents aren’t demanding. They are free to make their own choice
- These kids have unlimited screen time and snack time which could have a severe effect on their health
- They fail to be authoritative figures
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Pros of permissive parenting style
It’s not all negative when it comes to permissive parenting style. Due to its free range of parenting styles, this has seen a resurgence in recent times. Though not a popular parenting style, it does have its positives too.
1. Self-assurance
When children are allowed to express themselves freely, they become more confident in trying out new things. If you want your child to value him or herself, unconditional love is the key.
2. Explore
Since children are given more freedom in this kind of parenting, they love to explore and are inspired to take on new adventures which allows them to gain more confidence.
3. Creative
It is believed that children who grow up in a less rigid environment are most likely to tap their inner creativity. These children can easily experiment with their hobbies and passions.
Cons of permissive parenting style
When the parents follow a permissive style of parenting, they see their kids as equal to themselves forgetting that they need to play the role of parents. There are downsides to this style of parenting such as:
1. Risky behavior
Since the children aren’t set with boundaries and limits, they might approach certain situations without any hesitation or limits and may easily get into fights and arguments.
2. Parents lose their power
Power struggles for parents are high in this kind of parenting style. This is mainly due to the laid-back character of the parents which the children get to know and take advantage of.
3. Lower motivation
Children raised by permissive parents generally lack motivation. Since this type of child takes up their own choices, they don’t feel the need to be motivated.
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Example Of Permissive Parenting Style
A permissive indulgent parenting style tends to be lovely and thoughtful for the parents where they don’t enforce any rules or structure. A few examples of permissive parenting styles are:
1. Not being able to say “No” as they don’t want to upset their child
Example: Your child might already have had three chocolates in a day. When you take him shopping, he demands another one, with an intent to not hurt him or his feelings, you get one more.
2. Putting the wants of the child first
Example: A permissive parent may always need to wait to watch their favorite show on TV because they might have allowed their little one to take control over it.
3. Not setting limits
Example: A permissive parent may not have control or not set boundaries for the child despite the fact it is not good for the child. An example could be allowing the child to stay wide awake late in the night even though they need to get up early for school the next morning.
4. Too lenient
Example: Asking their child to clean their room and mess at their own convenient time and with the relaxation of doing it only when they aren’t feeling tired.
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9 Characteristics Of Permissive Parenting Style
Though the child is very happy to have an indulgent life because of the permissive parenting style, it can result in the child lacking self-discipline or the ability to manage themselves or any frustration they face. With the permissive parenting style, the children are at risk as they are unable to grow as selfless and self-driven adults.
The strategy you use to raise your child is categorized as various parenting styles. It also plays an important role in shaping your child’s future. When permissive parents don’t put any hold on the demands of the child, they let their child decide their future path.
Listed below are some characteristics of the permissive parenting style.
1. You love and nurture your child too much
Every parent loves their child and cares for their welfare. However, if you are a parent who is overprotective and caring for your child, it is a sign of permissive parenting. These parents typically take interest in the welfare of the child even after the child turns out an adult.
2. Lacks structure
In a permissive parenting style, there is no structure or boundaries set by the parents. These parents typically don’t follow any planned schedule such as having a routine bath time, bedtime, etc. They do everything as per the child’s wish. Whenever the child wants to have a bath, they make the kid have a bath and make them sleep when the child wants to. There is no particular responsibility given to the child and they seldom delegate household duties to the child.
Related Reading: Top 15 Bathroom Safety Tips For Toddlers
3. They are very friendly and informal with their child
Permissive parenting style parents are usually friendly with their child and try to maintain their buddy status. Hence there is no authoritarian nature. Children on the other hand fail to see their parents as authoritative figures due to which they take the liberty. There is never a regulation as they know that there is never a “No”.
4. There is less conflict
In a permissive parenting style, the demands of the children are easily met and hence there is no conflict between the parents and the child to meet the needs of the children. There are rare or fewer chances of “No”. Also, parents have the least expectation of their kids which is the main reason for fewer conflicts.
5. Parents are responsive to what the child wants
If you are someone who often meets all the demands of your child right from an expensive PlayStation to frequent restaurant orders, you follow a permissive parenting style. These parents are lenient towards their children and meet their wishes very quickly.
6. No negative consequences for bad behavior
Parents who follow a permissive parenting style mostly want to have a safe and friendly relationship with their children. To avoid ruining their relationship or their unwillingness to confront their children for their bad actions, they shy away from providing punishments or negative consequences for their actions.
7. Rewards are too many
A very reason for permissive parenting to be called indulgent parenting is because of the parent’s habit of pampering their child with too many gifts and rewards. These parents try to overindulge their children whenever possible. They mostly offer gifts and rewards to their children for things they don’t even deserve.
8. Too much screen time
As we know, too much screen time for children could hamper their growth and development of the child. Parents who follow a permissive parenting style allow their children to spend hours in front of the TV or phones due to their improper structure of a routine schedule. Such parents bypass all the reasons to keep children away from smartphones.
9. Child’s freedom matters more
The big part of raising a kid includes being responsible and teaching a child to be responsible and independent. However, when it comes to the permissive parenting style the parents are more focused on extending the freedom for the child rather than keeping their child in control in situations needed.
Conclusion
Lack of structure and discipline is the main drawback of a permissive parenting style. While we can give the child a little freedom to enjoy what needs to be, letting them take overall control is not acceptable. Permissive parenting for the child’s future will be a question when the child grows up. Remember, the child will lose confidence and will lack motivation, and will often be hurt when they don’t get what they desire.
It is never too late to modify the style of parenting in case you are a permissive parent. Start by setting rules and by following them regularly. Let your child know there will be consequences if the child is going to break the rules laid by you. If being a strict parent is going to bring betterment for your child, why not be a friend and a parent which could shape your child well!