Patience in parenting is something, as parents many of us long for. Often, we are left helpless when we see our kids behaving out of control. While frustration is the common outcome in several situations, many of us desire to develop patience when it comes to handling the child. So, what is patience? Does it mean remaining calm when the child is acting out of extreme anger?
For those who think: “I have no patience as a parent”, patience doesn’t mean remaining as a Yogi. It is just keeping your emotions under control without shouting or yelling at the child. Many parents doubt if the patience of a mother is possible. The answer is yes, but not sure if it is a long-time achievable goal.
Let us take a look at a few ways through which we can make parenting with patience achievable.
Why Do I Lose My Patience So Quickly?
Losing your patience as a mother is quite common. There are a few situations that are inevitable making parenting a hard task. Many moms start the day with a lot of patience. But as the day progresses, the tantrums of the kids increase and by the end of the day, we realize our situation is similar to how the well has gone dry. That’s how as parents we lose our patience.
There is no such thing called a perfect mom who is full of patience. Losing your cool is normal and hence you need not worry about the fact: I have no patience with my child. The good thing is that there are ways and methods using practice through which you can increase the patience you already have. This could work out even when the child throws a tantrum, when the siblings are fighting, or when there is rebellious behavior.
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While there are tools to bring in patience for peaceful and positive parenting, they don’t work out if the parents don’t have the proper mindset to support them. Being a good parent is what everyone wishes to be but, of course, it is tricky. Patience is a skill that will help them and you throughout life.
8 Ways To Be A Patient Parent
Patience in parenting is important. If you seem to be consistently losing your cool with your kids, it is an indication that you are lacking emotional control over your kids. Though the children benefit a lot from patient parenting, your child might push you to an extent making it something impossible.
While every parent wants to be more patient with their children, we get angry lots of the time for which we feel guilty after we blow up the little one. The power of patience is that it helps us to deal with everyday problems and a child’s annoyance patiently and with calmness. Remember, complaints, yelling, or nagging will only make the situation more stressful and difficult.
Whether you are a parent of a grown-up or a toddler, we have given below a few tips on parenting with patience which could help you keep the situation under control.
1. Identify your triggers
When you feel impatient and with anger building up inside, just take a pause and evaluate your situation. The most important thing is to identify what gives you that trigger as your child’s actions aren’t a problem. Identify which matters the most to you. Is it the chaos that is created by the child or is it the fact that your child is not listening to what you said?
An example could be you have guests coming in a few minutes and hence you asked your child to clean up the room. The child hasn’t done it and hence you lose patience in parenting. Find out if it is because the child hasn’t cleaned the room or if it’s because you have an additional task to do.
2. Think from your child’s perspective
Everyone has different perspectives. It is so easy to get impatient with the child. However, trying to get into the shoes of your child will make you understand the reason behind their whining, and anger, and why they are upset. It will give you a different look at how they see the world.
It should be understood that children show their emotions in both positive and negative ways and the latter to seek more attention. Letting your child know you are with them when they need it is one way of parenting with patience.
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3. Focus on ‘me’ time
Taking a break isn’t just for children but for parents too. It helps you to get back your lost energy and deal with children more patiently. Children want you to be more understanding and avoid multitasking when it comes to handling them. If you are too busy or distracted, it is easy to be impatient with the child.
Patience in parenting is all about getting down to their eye level and respecting their thoughts and feelings. Remember, if you are distracted or lost, your reactions to the child’s tantrums are sure to reverse. Hence it is better to break the monotony and spend time for yourself to refuel and get energized.
4. Give one on one time to each child
Spending one on one time with each of your kids will give them the confidence you have for them and it improves your connectivity with them. It also increases the child’s sense of belonging and significance. Building love and respect for your child will help to establish a better bond with the child.
You will start to feel more compassionate towards them which reduces your frustration. Also, since you spend time with them, their acts to seek attention will drastically reduce.
5. Keep control over your tone
There are a few worst things no parents should say to their child. Voice and tone could make a big difference in how you handle a situation. Though it is easy to yell at a child, the coolest trick of parenting with patience is to talk to children gently before you could shout or react harshly. Remember, in situations like this, all a child needs is gentleness and not a harsh reaction.
A simple way is to talk calmly to your child or with a smile on your face. When the child knows you aren’t angry over the situation, it is easy to cool them.
6. Revise your schedule
When you are working on a deadline or feeling stressed, it is obvious to lose your cool as there is so much going on. When there are too many things piled up, it can easily make you a stress monster. Whenever you get overwhelmed, it is better you clear off your pending task, which makes it easy for you to be a patient parent.
Remember, it is not easy to come out of a grocery store completing all your purchases within 20 minutes, especially when you take your kid with you. Instead of setting up a deadline and feeling stressed out, try to plan extra time wherever possible.
7. Kids are kids
Though it’s hard to believe, children do not intend to break your patience. It is just that they see things differently. Sometimes, throwing a tantrum is a way of seeking attention or acts of mischievous play. If your child cannot speak — crying and screaming are the only ways through which they communicate with you.
Being difficult is a part of being a child. They don’t know what is right or wrong since their brain is still developing. So, it takes a lot of time and maybe you need to keep repeating it to them even a hundred times. That is where the skill of patience in parenting lies.
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8. Practice your patience
Practice being patient in stressful situations which is the ideal key to parenting with patience. You can do this in a couple of ways. You can either mentally go through a stressful situation and prepare yourself on how to handle it or try implementing patience in low-stress situations.
An example could be recollecting a situation where you had lost patience and imagining how better you could have handled the situation without losing your patience. Practicing this technique several times a day will come in handy when real situations arise.
Conclusion
Patience in parenting requires you to be patient with yourself. It is impractical to think you cannot be patient with yourself. It is common for humans to lose patience and you are no exception. Instead of worrying over it, see what best you can learn from that situation to handle things better the next time.
Though parenting is bliss, it can also get frustrating sometimes. Raising a child with high needs and who is an expert at creating dramas could be testing your parenting skills every day. Though it could sound like a tough task, patience in parenting is like any other virtue. Though it takes time, it can always be learned.
Keep in mind, it is never good to lose patience and it is going to be even worse if you find it affecting your child. Life is too short so just smile and treat your children with love for the more you give the better it is bound to come back.